Thursday, April 16, 2009

Wardrobe malfunction

I think that the boob fairy must have paid a visit to our house last night. Seriously -- I was 45 minutes late today because everything I put on this morning made me look like Dolly effing Parton. (Not that I have anything against Dolly.)

I was not exactly a flat-chested girl to begin with. I started this whole infertility journey as a 34C, then grew to a 34DD via some combination of weight gain and meds. Midway through my IVF cycle, I could barely latch my bra and bought a couple of 34DDDs. And today, just about two weeks later, I am sporting the dreaded quadra-boob. (For those of you not familiar with quadra-boob, it is the phenomenon by which a too-large boob spills over a too-small cup, creating an oh-so attractive four-lumpy-boob look).

And it's not just the size. The girls HURT. It's gotten so bad that I've started wearing a sports bra to bed, because the pain of these suckers flapping around in the middle of the night actually woke me up a couple of times. Also, I am afraid of suffocating a cat under one of my loose, giant knockers.

So, here I am. Five weeks in, and my husband is already referring to the girls as "melons" (lovingly, of course -- he is a guy, after all).

My cups runneth over.

And under.


K said...

ROFLMAO! Ok, it's at your expense. ;)

Kate said...

as a very small (barely A) gal with no early onset swellage at this point, I can only marvel.
And say whoa, dude, and laugh a little (sorry).

A little pregnant julie apparently was massive, I mean, well built as well and may have some advice in the archives on her blog. Good luck and thanks for the smile (sorry) And very sorry for the sore.

Anonymous said...

I have a question for you - as a near cycle twin. Can you explain how your doctor calculated when your first U/S would be? I had my ER on 3/28 and my first U/S isn't until 5/11!!! It doesn't seem right but, I don't know if I should call back and challenge them on it....

Good luck with the ladies - I hope they slow down their growth pattern soon.

Barefoot said...

I was hoping you all would have a laugh -- I mean, we have to laugh about this stuff, right?

buildingthenest, I think it's just standard operating procedure at my clinic that they have you schedule a beta 14 days after retrieval, and an u/s 14 days after that. I can't believe they're making you wait so long!! My only thought is that maybe they want to push you to 8+ weeks so that there's a better chance of seeing a heartbeat?

I also don't know if I will do an 8 week u/s with my clinic, or if they'll dump me back off on my regular OB.

Anyway, you should totally call and see if they'll get you in earlier. That's an awfully long time to wait!

Flower said...

Girl...LOL...u gotta love the puppies...well I bet your husband does...(wink)

Keiko Zoll said...

"Also, I am afraid of suffocating a cat under one of my loose, giant knockers."

Literally LOLd. Great post :) Sounds like things are going well!

My Endo Journey said...

LOL. Being a barely B myself, I can't imagine. I'm sure they are painful...sorry about that. Haha about the husband would be so excited about some enlargement!!!

Jo said...

Oh, Barefoot, I feel your pain! No, really, I do! I'm normally a 34DD and I've gone up to a 36DD (which is still too small, but I REFUSE to buy bigger until I absolutlely HAVE TO). I fear what pregnancy will do my already blossoming bosom.

Thanks for the giggle!


Emily said...

LOL! Last night before bed, Sean said, "The Boob Fairy has paid you a visit today!" All the sudden on beta day they have really popped and are sooooo sore too. Since I broke my fave bra earlier this week, I need to find some comfy ones ASAP. Thanks for the morning smiles :)

Where's my miracle? said...

LOL! You are too funny. Sorry that the girls are hurtin'. I hope you level off soon or you and Dolly will become arch enemies!

Carrie said...

I can totally relate and laughed my ass off at this post. Yesterday I noted the double boob situation going on and must dig out larger bras ASAP. I look a little ridiculous, and they make my supposedly "concealing" flowy shirts look like TENTS!! Not the look I was going for.

Big hugs!

Anonymous said...

I am so feeling this pain right now, I think my boobs grew a cup size today.

Lori Lavender Luz said...

Too bad we can't arrange for some sort of a transfer. My cups tend to runneth under.

BTW, someone guessed this post as the answer for Name That Blogger!

(over at Weebles Wobblog,