Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Botching the dismount

A couple of months ago, I had a couple of mama friends over. We were all contemplating stopping the whole breastfeeding/pumping thing, and one of them commented: "I'm so used to eating whatever I want and chalking it up to breastfeeding. I hope I don't botch the dismount and gain a bunch of weight."

Well, folks, I have officially Botched The Dismount. I haven't exactly gained a bunch of weight , but I haven't lost any more either. I am stalled. Stuck. Stuck in a delicious jungle of carbs and red wine. I'm about 10 pounds lighter than when I got pregnant, but still about 10-15 pounds heavier than I was pre-IF. (And about 25 pounds up from my wedding, but hey, I'm not in my twenties anymore and that's OK.)

So, I am recommitting. Reattempting the dismount. Trying to break through the plateau. Insert metaphor here.

My goal: the elusive Size 8 pants. I've got my former favorite pair of charcoal grey flannel slacks (did I just use the word slacks? I really am a mom) hanging from the bedroom door. I want to get into them by Thanksgiving. I do not want my thighs to look like a pair of bratwursts.

This is my goal. I have thrown it out there to the world. Please hold me accountable.

Or just hold me. I miss carbs.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

In which I rant about work

WARNING: Big, slightly self-pitying, enormously self-indulgent work rant ahead.

I just got back from a 3-night work trip. Which came on the heels of a two-night work trip. Which came on the heels of another 2-night work trip. To put it in perspective, three of the Avis car rental reps and 2 of the desk clerks at the Embassy Suites in a major metropolitan area now know me by name. And the manager at the Embassy Suites knows what kind of wine I like to drink (after an embarrassing late night incident involving a glass of cabernet knocked off a dresser onto the carpet and a subsequent room change and complimentary replacement glass blah blah blah).

Meanwhile, I feel lucky that my daughter recognized me (and actually smiled) when I walked through the door last night. I mean, she's going through a serious stranger danger phase right now and let's face it, I'm kind of a stranger lately.

I'm not complaining in the larger sense. I know what I got into when I got back to work, took a promotion, and basically returned to business as usual as if I never had a child. (And my husband can be available to be with the Chicklette when I'm not, so I know she's in good hands.) I PURPOSELY did this -- I didn't want the men in my male-dominated environment (law firm) to think that I had gone "soft." I've killed myself to seem like I'm on top of it all of the time. I never complain. I never mention the baby unless I'm asked about her. I've totally set myself up. This is all my fault.

BUT. Just once, it would be nice if someone -- ANYONE -- like, remembered that I had a baby 9 months ago. And maybe said "thanks" for kicking my own ass to get things done. And spending nights away from my family. And never complaining. Except here.

And yes, my fault.

My doing.

But still.

I miss my baby.

That is all.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The great Halloween debate

Yes, I know. It's only September 19th. But I already feel like I'm behind schedule in making the very important major decision of the Chicklette's Halloween costume.

I figure I've got this one year, and maybe next, to assert my costume authority before we're bending to the whims of whatever princess/Dora/Hanna Montana ridiculosity has captured the Chicklette's imagination. It's a big decision. No ladybugs or bumblebees -- they're cute as hell, but everyone's a ladybug or a bee. And apparently it is child abuse (according to my husband and mother) to dress my kid up as a skunk, even though it's the cutest costume I've seen out there and highly appropriate given the stink cloud regularly surrounding my child's nether regions.

So, I think we're left with this. A monarch butterfly. Am I crazy for spending $50 on a costume that will get worn for 10 minutes? Probably. But the opportunity to bend the Chicklette to my will for perhaps the last Halloween, and take about 200 pictures while doing it?


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Missing in action

I just realized today that it's been nearly a MONTH since I last posted. Yikes! It seems like a few days.

I've been slammed at work, and traveling a lot -- which sucks but the Chicklette is getting lots of Daddy time, so it's not all bad.

The big news -- other than the fact that the Chicklette gets cuter by the minute, in my completely biased opinion -- is that we have our first tooth! The first thing I thought when she sunk that little chomper into my finger was THANK GOD I'M NOT GIVING HER THE BOOB ANYMORE.

Anyway, more to come soon, including my newfound complete ambivalance about attempting to have child number two. And the mild havoc it is wreaking on my marriage.

I hope anyone who's still reading this sad excuse for a blog is doing well.