Apparently it's ICLW once again! I'm not sure if it's arriving more quickly, or if my brain has just further deteriorated. I'm betting on the latter.
So, for newcomers, welcome to Barefootland. As you can probably glean from the title of my blog, I am pregnant. 19 weeks pregnant, in fact. It took 2.5 years, a bunch of Clomid, a bunch of tears and an IVF cycle to get here, but we're thrilled. And we're having a girl, which I hope to reflect more completely in my toenail color when I go for a pedi this weekend.
As a warning for those of you who might not want to read about pregnancy-type things, this blog is these days mostly about being pregnant. But I'm still an infertile, and that is touching this journey in more ways than I ever could have imagined.
For those of you thinking about or embarking on an IVF cycle, there are a slew of posts in March and April detailing that exciting rollercoaster ride.
Welcome to the blog, and happy ICLW!
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Holy shit!
Pardon the language -- and on Holy Thursday, no less -- but OMG our beta was 188 and we're pregnant!
I want to thank you all so so much for all of the good juju -- I read all of your comments this morning on my way to get my blood drawn, and I can't even begin to tell you how much the support meant to us, especially since we haven't told many people in "real" life. (Although I don't know how much more real you get than this!)
We have another blood draw on Saturday....I know we've still got a looong way to go and so much can happen but I can't believe I've actually managed to get knocked up for the first time ever.
Eeep!
I want to thank you all so so much for all of the good juju -- I read all of your comments this morning on my way to get my blood drawn, and I can't even begin to tell you how much the support meant to us, especially since we haven't told many people in "real" life. (Although I don't know how much more real you get than this!)
We have another blood draw on Saturday....I know we've still got a looong way to go and so much can happen but I can't believe I've actually managed to get knocked up for the first time ever.
Eeep!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
8dp5dt -- 2WW, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out
I seem to have rounded the corner on the bitchiness, and am feeling almost serene today. I'm pretty much convinced I'm not pregnant, and that the PIO shots are just barely staving off a raging period. I'm certainly not going to be happy if tomorrow's results back up my suspicion, but I'm prepared to move forward with next steps. We knew going in that it was going to be a coin toss at best.
So, as the time drrraaaagggs by, I'm trying to focus on the things that are making me smile today:
1) The big, lopsided circles on my butt where the Mr. had to re-tattoo me with a Sharpie for my PIO shots.
2) The furry little purry kitty head that was on my pillow this morning when I woke up. (Not making me smile as much -- the furry little piece of kitty hair that it took me 20 minutes to get out of my eye.)
3) The fact that it only took me 5 minutes to get through the Bay Bridge Toll Plaza this morning on the way to work.
4) The fact that the Mr. will have dinner waiting for me when I get home tonight.
5) The big bowl of pho I just ate. (Yes, it's all about food with me right now.)
6) The fact that in 24 or so hours, I will either be celebrating or drinking very good red wine out of a VERY LARGE glass.
So, as the time drrraaaagggs by, I'm trying to focus on the things that are making me smile today:
1) The big, lopsided circles on my butt where the Mr. had to re-tattoo me with a Sharpie for my PIO shots.
2) The furry little purry kitty head that was on my pillow this morning when I woke up. (Not making me smile as much -- the furry little piece of kitty hair that it took me 20 minutes to get out of my eye.)
3) The fact that it only took me 5 minutes to get through the Bay Bridge Toll Plaza this morning on the way to work.
4) The fact that the Mr. will have dinner waiting for me when I get home tonight.
5) The big bowl of pho I just ate. (Yes, it's all about food with me right now.)
6) The fact that in 24 or so hours, I will either be celebrating or drinking very good red wine out of a VERY LARGE glass.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
7dp5dt -- Miss Bitchiality
My poor husband. He got quite a handful last night. First, I completely freaked out when he got home 20 minutes late for my PIO shot, convinced that if we delayed at all I would immediately get my period. After the shot, I basically melted down and had an epic cry, complete with choking sounds and rivulets of snot pouring down my face. We're not going to be pregnant, it's not fair, it's so easy for everyone else, I'm so fat, I'm probably getting my period even as we speak, blah blah blah. Then to top it all off, at dinner I wouldn't let him have any guacamole, since there really was only enough for one person.
One very sniffly and bitchy person.
The bitchitude leads me further down the road of believing I'm about to get my period. Can you tell I'm a bit obsessed with my period? The good news is that I'm probably clocking a mile a day to and from the bathroom (my office has long halls). The bad news is that, well, I'm a bitch.
One very sniffly and bitchy person.
The bitchitude leads me further down the road of believing I'm about to get my period. Can you tell I'm a bit obsessed with my period? The good news is that I'm probably clocking a mile a day to and from the bathroom (my office has long halls). The bad news is that, well, I'm a bitch.
Monday, April 6, 2009
6dp5dt -- Evil, evil progesterone
I am in need of some serious sedation. I spent most of last night tossing and turning and running to the bathroom every hour or so, convinced that I had gotten my period. I had 4 dreams about telling the doctor I'd gotten my period, telling my mother I'd gotten my period, having my period stop and telling everyone about that, and meeting Carrie Underwood. Carrie and I did not talk about my period.
I somehow managed to stop myself from peeing on a stick, because 1) every time I pee on stick, I get my period immediately afterwards, and 2) the Mr. is seriously opposed to testing because he thinks it will make my mental state even worse. I'M NOT SURE HOW THAT IS POSSIBLE.
So, this morning I consulted Dr. Google and Dr. Infertility Blogosphere and learned that progesterone can provide that magical combination of both period AND pregnancy symptoms. So the fact that I am bloated, constipated, crampy, sweaty, cranky and crazy could really mean anything.
And isn't that comforting?
I somehow managed to stop myself from peeing on a stick, because 1) every time I pee on stick, I get my period immediately afterwards, and 2) the Mr. is seriously opposed to testing because he thinks it will make my mental state even worse. I'M NOT SURE HOW THAT IS POSSIBLE.
So, this morning I consulted Dr. Google and Dr. Infertility Blogosphere and learned that progesterone can provide that magical combination of both period AND pregnancy symptoms. So the fact that I am bloated, constipated, crampy, sweaty, cranky and crazy could really mean anything.
And isn't that comforting?
Sunday, April 5, 2009
5dp5dt -- Seriously nothing to report
I wish I had something exciting to say, but the last two days have been one giant exercise in trying to distract ourselves, with limited success. The highlight of the weekend was playing bingo with my husband's grandmother at her retirement home. I got bingo. Thrilling. Today I'm going for a pedicure and may just make a therapeutic run to Target.
Like I said -- nothing to report.
Is it Thursday yet?
Like I said -- nothing to report.
Is it Thursday yet?
Friday, April 3, 2009
Awesome
Just discovered that two visitors have made their way to this blog by searching the following term:
"where to buy a fake pregnancy tummys"
Well. I am currently sporting what one might call a fake pregnancy tummy, gained by the injection and other administration of thousands of dollars worth of IVF drugs, but I'm sure there is a cheaper way to achieve said effect. Hopefully these folks found it!
"where to buy a fake pregnancy tummys"
Well. I am currently sporting what one might call a fake pregnancy tummy, gained by the injection and other administration of thousands of dollars worth of IVF drugs, but I'm sure there is a cheaper way to achieve said effect. Hopefully these folks found it!
3dp5dt -- Waiting sucks
I wish I had something pithy and wonderful to say today, but I am currently paralyzed by the not-quite-two-week wait. My mind may wander to inconsequential things like, oh, work, for about five minutes, and then I'm right back into "am I or aren't I?" mode.
I know it's way too early for any meaningful symptoms (not to mention the lovely progesterone cocktail* running through my veins), but I am tired as hell despite sleeping like a log every night (very unusual for insomniac me) and have been feeling like hurling on and off for the last two days. And this morning's odd development is that I brewed myself up a tasty cup of decaf, and then was so totally turned off by the smell that I couldn't drink it.
I know this is probably all in my head, but since I'm pretty much living in my head these days it all seems like a very big deal.
Help!
*By the way, did I mention that I could really use a cocktail?!?!?
I know it's way too early for any meaningful symptoms (not to mention the lovely progesterone cocktail* running through my veins), but I am tired as hell despite sleeping like a log every night (very unusual for insomniac me) and have been feeling like hurling on and off for the last two days. And this morning's odd development is that I brewed myself up a tasty cup of decaf, and then was so totally turned off by the smell that I couldn't drink it.
I know this is probably all in my head, but since I'm pretty much living in my head these days it all seems like a very big deal.
Help!
*By the way, did I mention that I could really use a cocktail?!?!?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
1dp5dt -- Stir CRAZY
I've been home on my back for less than 24 hours, and I'm already going a little crazy. It doesn't help that the Mr. is also at home, basically yelling at me every time I get up to pee. A girl's gotta pee. The good (?) news is that I've got a bunch of work calls today, so at least my mind will be occupied. It's a little hard to feel authoritative when you're in bed in your jammies with two cats sitting on you, but that's about the best I can do today.
In not quite as good news, we got word this morning that only one of our other little guys made it to freeze. But he (she?) is a "big, beautiful blastocyst -- even bigger than the ones [we] put in yesterday," quoth the doctor. So we're thankful for that -- I guess I just got carried away in my mind that all of our embies would miraculously make it and that we'd have a basketball team.
And this is why you should never think about serious topics while on drugs.
In not quite as good news, we got word this morning that only one of our other little guys made it to freeze. But he (she?) is a "big, beautiful blastocyst -- even bigger than the ones [we] put in yesterday," quoth the doctor. So we're thankful for that -- I guess I just got carried away in my mind that all of our embies would miraculously make it and that we'd have a basketball team.
And this is why you should never think about serious topics while on drugs.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
2 little blasties sitting in my ute; blobs of cells that are so cute!
OK, so I'm still feeling pretty happy from the Va.lium. Everything went smoothly this morning -- thanks so much for all the good thoughts!
In case anyone's curious about the play-by-play, here goes:
We got to the clinic super-early (8:15 for a 9:30 transfer) -- so early, in fact, that the doctor called me on my cell phone with an embryo update when I was sitting in the waiting room! She told us that we had two superstar blasts, and then another 2 or 3 that we will likely be able to freeze either later today or tomorrow. She recommended we transfer 2 -- I relayed that to the Mr. and then headed off to acupuncture to think on it for a bit.
Acupuncture was fun today -- I had a different acupuncturist who'd worked for the San Francisco 49ers for a while, so we chatted about that. I got needles in different places -- on top of my head for the first time, which she called an "implantation crown." I chilled with the needles for about 30 minutes, said a few prayers, and decided that my gut was telling me to go with 2.
I debated whether or not I needed a Va.lium after acupuncture, and decided that my bladder discomfort alone was probably reason enough, so down the hatch it went. I floated on back to the waiting room, sat and snuggled with the Mr. for a bit, and then we headed back to the transfer room.
The tech took a quick look at the sonogram, and told me that I could go pee for 5 seconds if I wanted to. No need to ask me twice! I shuffled out and did my thing, went back and got told that I could pee even more. Apparently my 58 or so ounces were doing what they were supposed to do.
Finally, we got down to business. The doctor (a new one) came in and went over a few more details, and gave us a picture of our beautiful blasts. One was huge (I'd post a picture if I wasn't flat on my back), and the other was not far behind. We made the final call to do both.
By this time, the Va.lium had kicked in and I was feeling like a million bucks. Never have my feet so easily gone into stirrups, and I swear the speculum was not at all unpleasant. A miracle. The doctor swabbed me out with some cold stuff, which totally tickled (I told you the Val.ium was good), and gave the catheter a quick test. What happened next was the coolest thing ever -- the embryologist came in, confirmed who we were, and left while the doctor put in the catheter for real. You could see the little tube going in on the ultrasound. The embryologist came back with the blasts, handed them to the doctor, and then we watched them wend their merry little way down the tube and pop out into my ute. So frickin' cool.
The Dr. said it went "perfectly," and they all left me to lie on the table for a few minutes. The Mr. and I totally had a moment -- I cried, I laughed, he teared up. It was one of the most special things we've experienced together.
I went back for another round of needles, and conked out with a big smile on my face.
So now we wait. And wait. Beta is next Thursday the 9th at 7:00 a.m. I hope there are enough movies at Blockbuster to get me through. I'm sure I'll be blogging all about them here.
In case anyone's curious about the play-by-play, here goes:
We got to the clinic super-early (8:15 for a 9:30 transfer) -- so early, in fact, that the doctor called me on my cell phone with an embryo update when I was sitting in the waiting room! She told us that we had two superstar blasts, and then another 2 or 3 that we will likely be able to freeze either later today or tomorrow. She recommended we transfer 2 -- I relayed that to the Mr. and then headed off to acupuncture to think on it for a bit.
Acupuncture was fun today -- I had a different acupuncturist who'd worked for the San Francisco 49ers for a while, so we chatted about that. I got needles in different places -- on top of my head for the first time, which she called an "implantation crown." I chilled with the needles for about 30 minutes, said a few prayers, and decided that my gut was telling me to go with 2.
I debated whether or not I needed a Va.lium after acupuncture, and decided that my bladder discomfort alone was probably reason enough, so down the hatch it went. I floated on back to the waiting room, sat and snuggled with the Mr. for a bit, and then we headed back to the transfer room.
The tech took a quick look at the sonogram, and told me that I could go pee for 5 seconds if I wanted to. No need to ask me twice! I shuffled out and did my thing, went back and got told that I could pee even more. Apparently my 58 or so ounces were doing what they were supposed to do.
Finally, we got down to business. The doctor (a new one) came in and went over a few more details, and gave us a picture of our beautiful blasts. One was huge (I'd post a picture if I wasn't flat on my back), and the other was not far behind. We made the final call to do both.
By this time, the Va.lium had kicked in and I was feeling like a million bucks. Never have my feet so easily gone into stirrups, and I swear the speculum was not at all unpleasant. A miracle. The doctor swabbed me out with some cold stuff, which totally tickled (I told you the Val.ium was good), and gave the catheter a quick test. What happened next was the coolest thing ever -- the embryologist came in, confirmed who we were, and left while the doctor put in the catheter for real. You could see the little tube going in on the ultrasound. The embryologist came back with the blasts, handed them to the doctor, and then we watched them wend their merry little way down the tube and pop out into my ute. So frickin' cool.
The Dr. said it went "perfectly," and they all left me to lie on the table for a few minutes. The Mr. and I totally had a moment -- I cried, I laughed, he teared up. It was one of the most special things we've experienced together.
I went back for another round of needles, and conked out with a big smile on my face.
So now we wait. And wait. Beta is next Thursday the 9th at 7:00 a.m. I hope there are enough movies at Blockbuster to get me through. I'm sure I'll be blogging all about them here.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Just trying to chill the hell out
T minus 24 hours until transfer, and I am fighting the urge to Google the heck out of "embryo transfer stories." I thought being back at work would help, but no such luck. It's funny, because the only thing I'm really dreading is the no peeing thing. Otherwise, between the acupuncture and the Val.ium I'm sure I'm going to be feeling juuuust fiiiiinnne.
In other news, the Mr. shot me in the butt with PIO when we were at our friends' house last night. It was pretty comical. I think I'm almost going to miss these exciting shooting up situations.
In other news, the Mr. shot me in the butt with PIO when we were at our friends' house last night. It was pretty comical. I think I'm almost going to miss these exciting shooting up situations.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Day 3 Embryo Update
OK, so it was a little weird when the doctor called us at 8:30 this morning and we were lounging in bed watching a 90210 rerun on SoapNet. But he had good news, so I got over it.
All 7 of our embies are still cooking! We've got 4 8-cell Grade 1 embryos (our clinic grades on a 1 to 5 scale, with 1 being the best), 1 6-cell Grade 1, 1 5-cell Grade 2, and 1 4-cell Grade 2. We're headed for a Day 5 transfer on Tuesday, and hopefully (please please please!) will have a couple to freeze.
After we got the news, the Mr. and I went for a long walk around the reservoir and tried to figure out whether we want to put back 1 or 2 on Tuesday. I think it's probably going to have to be a game-time decision.
Crazy days.....but we both feel incredibly blessed.
All 7 of our embies are still cooking! We've got 4 8-cell Grade 1 embryos (our clinic grades on a 1 to 5 scale, with 1 being the best), 1 6-cell Grade 1, 1 5-cell Grade 2, and 1 4-cell Grade 2. We're headed for a Day 5 transfer on Tuesday, and hopefully (please please please!) will have a couple to freeze.
After we got the news, the Mr. and I went for a long walk around the reservoir and tried to figure out whether we want to put back 1 or 2 on Tuesday. I think it's probably going to have to be a game-time decision.
Crazy days.....but we both feel incredibly blessed.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Fertilization and Butt-Shot Report
In case anyone out there is quivering in fear (as I was yesterday) about the prospect of a progesterone in oil (PIO) shot, I am here to report that last night's butt-shot was not that bad. I think more than the actual needle, I was nervous about someone else giving me a shot -- I'd come to terms over the last few weeks with shooting myself up, and the one time I'd let the Mr. give it a try was kind of disastrous. But he really pulled (pushed?) through -- just a little pinch. I've heard that the real pain of PIO shots is the cumulative soreness, which I can't speak to yet, but at least I won't be approaching tonight's needle encounter with abject terror.
(On a side note, I am really constantly amazed at the medical things that I've previously feared and have more or less overcome. Vag.inal ultrasound? Check. IV? Check. Injections? Check. Blood draws? Check. It's not that I really love any of these activities, but I feel sort of proud of myself that they're no big deal in a physical sense anymore. IVF makes grizzled medical veterans of us all!)
On the fertilization front, we got great news this morning -- 7 of our 8 fertilized!! The doctor us very optimistic that we'll make it to day 5, but in my excitement I forgot to ask what the basis was for this determination. I think it's too early for them to be grading the embies, right?
We won't hear anything else until Sunday -- either a report and time for Tuesday, or (if things aren't looking so hot) a time for a day 3 transfer that day. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with myself until then -- I don't think I've had to wait this long for any results yet -- but am just trying to think good thoughts for our little potential babes. I don't generally think of myself as an overly emotional person (the Mr. may disagree, especially after these last few weeks), but I pretty much love them already.
And now, to bring things back to my usual sarcastic and superficial level, I'm off to pee for the 10th time this morning. Thanks, Gatorade.
(On a side note, I am really constantly amazed at the medical things that I've previously feared and have more or less overcome. Vag.inal ultrasound? Check. IV? Check. Injections? Check. Blood draws? Check. It's not that I really love any of these activities, but I feel sort of proud of myself that they're no big deal in a physical sense anymore. IVF makes grizzled medical veterans of us all!)
On the fertilization front, we got great news this morning -- 7 of our 8 fertilized!! The doctor us very optimistic that we'll make it to day 5, but in my excitement I forgot to ask what the basis was for this determination. I think it's too early for them to be grading the embies, right?
We won't hear anything else until Sunday -- either a report and time for Tuesday, or (if things aren't looking so hot) a time for a day 3 transfer that day. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with myself until then -- I don't think I've had to wait this long for any results yet -- but am just trying to think good thoughts for our little potential babes. I don't generally think of myself as an overly emotional person (the Mr. may disagree, especially after these last few weeks), but I pretty much love them already.
And now, to bring things back to my usual sarcastic and superficial level, I'm off to pee for the 10th time this morning. Thanks, Gatorade.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
A Retrieval Story
Since I don't have a Baby Story to tell (yet?), I hereby give you A Retrieval Story. Warning: it's not very exciting, but I want to have it down for posterity in case I have to go through this whole rigamarole again and need to remind myself that it wasn't that bad.
So. We arrived at 8:15 and immediately got whisked away to the operating suite. Apparently they had 5 retrievals scheduled this morning, so things were hopping. We were led to a pre-op "room" (really just a bed with a curtain around it, flanked by two other beds with curtains around them). I got a sexy gown, set of booties and hair cap, and was told to get undressed and lie down on the bed. They got me this comfy warm blanket that kind of rocked.
We got some instructions from the nurse, and chatted a bit about what would be happening. I didn't expect to be nervous today, but I guess the whole environment was a little more antiseptic and hospital-y than I was expecting, and that kind of threw me for a loop. Just as I was starting to get a little jittery, they wheeled out someone from the OR who was basically freaking out. Crying, moaning in pain, saying all kinds of crazy anesthesia stuff. I was trying not to pay attention, but then I heard her say something just heartbreaking: "It's just that I've never been pregnant before."
Oof. At this point the Mr. started talking baseball to me.
The nurse came back and put in my IV. Not super-fun, but not too bad. The doctor came in to explain the procedure (does he not think I read IF blogs obsessively?), and then we were left alone again for a bit. They wheeled out another patient -- this was one of the couples who were in our IVF class a couple of weeks ago -- and she said through the curtain: "Good luck guys -- I loooooove you." We've met them once.
At this point, I made a mental note to just try and keep my mouth shut after the procedure. :)
Then the anethesiologist came in and we immediately determined that we both went to Cornell (the Mr. was wearing a hat). Things were looking up! She talked a bit about the drugs, and mentioned that I wouldn't be under that deeply so might wake up during the procedure -- WTF? -- but that she'd be there to ease me back under. Great!
Then we got left alone for another few minutes. I started thinking about how we were going to be making embryos and started to tear up a little bit. The Mr. kissed me with his horrible coffee breath, and then we were off to the OR.
I walked in, got on the table, they strapped me down and put a mask on my face, and then skjhfakjhfahzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................
I did have a dream that I pulled my blackberry out from under the table and e-mailed the Mr. about the procedure, which just goes to show you what a crackberry workaholic addict I am, but whatever. I woke up in the same pre-op "room", and felt great. I also didn't talk. The Mr. came back from his duties of the day, we hung out for a bit, I drank some Gatorade, they tattoed my ass for the PIO shots tonight, we heard we got 8 eggs and would get a call in the morning, and that was it.
I still feel pretty great -- a little cramping and spotting, and a little grogginess, but that's it. I'm going to hang out today, work from home tomorrow, and just try to stay calm and collected until we figure out what's going on with the embies.
Now I'm off to watch my shiny new "Twilight" DVD. Mmmm, vampires.
So. We arrived at 8:15 and immediately got whisked away to the operating suite. Apparently they had 5 retrievals scheduled this morning, so things were hopping. We were led to a pre-op "room" (really just a bed with a curtain around it, flanked by two other beds with curtains around them). I got a sexy gown, set of booties and hair cap, and was told to get undressed and lie down on the bed. They got me this comfy warm blanket that kind of rocked.
We got some instructions from the nurse, and chatted a bit about what would be happening. I didn't expect to be nervous today, but I guess the whole environment was a little more antiseptic and hospital-y than I was expecting, and that kind of threw me for a loop. Just as I was starting to get a little jittery, they wheeled out someone from the OR who was basically freaking out. Crying, moaning in pain, saying all kinds of crazy anesthesia stuff. I was trying not to pay attention, but then I heard her say something just heartbreaking: "It's just that I've never been pregnant before."
Oof. At this point the Mr. started talking baseball to me.
The nurse came back and put in my IV. Not super-fun, but not too bad. The doctor came in to explain the procedure (does he not think I read IF blogs obsessively?), and then we were left alone again for a bit. They wheeled out another patient -- this was one of the couples who were in our IVF class a couple of weeks ago -- and she said through the curtain: "Good luck guys -- I loooooove you." We've met them once.
At this point, I made a mental note to just try and keep my mouth shut after the procedure. :)
Then the anethesiologist came in and we immediately determined that we both went to Cornell (the Mr. was wearing a hat). Things were looking up! She talked a bit about the drugs, and mentioned that I wouldn't be under that deeply so might wake up during the procedure -- WTF? -- but that she'd be there to ease me back under. Great!
Then we got left alone for another few minutes. I started thinking about how we were going to be making embryos and started to tear up a little bit. The Mr. kissed me with his horrible coffee breath, and then we were off to the OR.
I walked in, got on the table, they strapped me down and put a mask on my face, and then skjhfakjhfahzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................
I did have a dream that I pulled my blackberry out from under the table and e-mailed the Mr. about the procedure, which just goes to show you what a crackberry workaholic addict I am, but whatever. I woke up in the same pre-op "room", and felt great. I also didn't talk. The Mr. came back from his duties of the day, we hung out for a bit, I drank some Gatorade, they tattoed my ass for the PIO shots tonight, we heard we got 8 eggs and would get a call in the morning, and that was it.
I still feel pretty great -- a little cramping and spotting, and a little grogginess, but that's it. I'm going to hang out today, work from home tomorrow, and just try to stay calm and collected until we figure out what's going on with the embies.
Now I'm off to watch my shiny new "Twilight" DVD. Mmmm, vampires.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Twiddling my thumbs
Well, not really. I'm actually really excited about tomorrow's retrieval -- maybe too excited. I've been trying really hard to stay on an even keel this week, and every time I swing too far one way or the other (particularly towards the positive) I start to get worried. It's the whole jinx thing.
Anyway, today has been full of fun work hijinks. My boss is in town from the East Coast (of course -- had to be this week), and we're going to dinner tonight. She knows I'm having some sort of "procedure" tomorrow, but the whole thing is a little awkward. Also awkward has been telling my team that I'll be out -- I think I'm usually a pretty cool boss, but I feel like I'm pulling the whole "personal life is none of your business" card. I'm probably not coming across that way, but you know how when you're going through something you assume that everyone notices every little thing, even though they have their own lives and haven't given it a second thought? That's me today.
And finally, my ta-tas are totally out of control. As much as I'd love to be pregnant in two weeks, I'm a little terrified about what that might mean for my poor, sore, already DD-sized girls. At least they're balanced out by my fleshy bruisy tummy.
Is this what they mean by hourglass figure?
Anyway, today has been full of fun work hijinks. My boss is in town from the East Coast (of course -- had to be this week), and we're going to dinner tonight. She knows I'm having some sort of "procedure" tomorrow, but the whole thing is a little awkward. Also awkward has been telling my team that I'll be out -- I think I'm usually a pretty cool boss, but I feel like I'm pulling the whole "personal life is none of your business" card. I'm probably not coming across that way, but you know how when you're going through something you assume that everyone notices every little thing, even though they have their own lives and haven't given it a second thought? That's me today.
And finally, my ta-tas are totally out of control. As much as I'd love to be pregnant in two weeks, I'm a little terrified about what that might mean for my poor, sore, already DD-sized girls. At least they're balanced out by my fleshy bruisy tummy.
Is this what they mean by hourglass figure?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Trigger tonight!
Just heard from Ye Olde Fertility Clinic that tonight's the night -- at 9:00 to be exact. Retrieval is at 9:00 on Thursday morning. I've never been so excited to have a camera and a needle simultaneously up my hoo-hoo! Thank God for anesthesia.
Probably the best news I've had today is that tomorrow will be both wand and needle-free! Whatever will I do with myself?
Probably the best news I've had today is that tomorrow will be both wand and needle-free! Whatever will I do with myself?
Baa! (and a Day 10 update)
Thanks to everyone who's been leaving encouraging comments -- it's so great to know that there are people out there rooting for my follies! I'm incubating away today, and waiting to hear back after my ultrasound and bloodwork this morning whether we're triggering tonight or tomorrow. Curiously, the Mr. opted to join me again for the wanding today. I can't figure him out sometimes. Maybe he's done reading all of the magazines in the waiting room.
Anyhoo, the acupuncture doctor tells us that the Mr. is supposed to eat lots of lamb this week before he gives his, um, specimen. Why? I don't know. I made a batch of lamb meatballs on Sunday (yum!) and we're planning on grilling up some lamb chops tonight. I'd actually never cooked lamb before this week, and I'm not entirely sure what I think. I always feel a little queasy about lamb -- it tastes good and all, but I can't ever seem to get this Simpsons episode out of my mind. ("Liiisssa, I thought you loooooved me. Looooved me!")
Anyhoo, the acupuncture doctor tells us that the Mr. is supposed to eat lots of lamb this week before he gives his, um, specimen. Why? I don't know. I made a batch of lamb meatballs on Sunday (yum!) and we're planning on grilling up some lamb chops tonight. I'd actually never cooked lamb before this week, and I'm not entirely sure what I think. I always feel a little queasy about lamb -- it tastes good and all, but I can't ever seem to get this Simpsons episode out of my mind. ("Liiisssa, I thought you loooooved me. Looooved me!")
Sigh. Something tells me I'm eating vegetarian tonight.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Day 9 Update
Sorry for not coming up with more entertaining titles for my posts.....all of my energy seems to be focused on managing the big round bloat-o-rama that is my belly. And studded with a couple of nice injection bruises....SEXY! Convenient that this IVF thing doesn't actually involve having sex.
So, another morning with the wand. Lead follie is at 22, but there are a bunch clustered at 14 and 15, so I think they're going to wait for those at the possible expense of the big one.
The most entertaining part of the morning was that the Mr. decided that he wanted to come in for the ultrasound (since apparently I've made the whole process sound so alluring and fun). First of all, I'm not sure he'd ever seen a table with stirrups before, which elicited a gasp. Gasp number two came when the tech did the double-gel-and-con.dom routine over the wand. I lost track of the gasps after that, but he was all blushing and sheepish when it was over. I don't think he'll be joining me tomorrow. What a wuss -- it wasn't even that bad today.
I'm totally getting flowers tonight, though. Or at least the dishwasher emptied. You've got to work it when you can!
So, another morning with the wand. Lead follie is at 22, but there are a bunch clustered at 14 and 15, so I think they're going to wait for those at the possible expense of the big one.
The most entertaining part of the morning was that the Mr. decided that he wanted to come in for the ultrasound (since apparently I've made the whole process sound so alluring and fun). First of all, I'm not sure he'd ever seen a table with stirrups before, which elicited a gasp. Gasp number two came when the tech did the double-gel-and-con.dom routine over the wand. I lost track of the gasps after that, but he was all blushing and sheepish when it was over. I don't think he'll be joining me tomorrow. What a wuss -- it wasn't even that bad today.
I'm totally getting flowers tonight, though. Or at least the dishwasher emptied. You've got to work it when you can!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Day 8 Update
Things were hopping this morning at the clinic....must be a big week for people cycling. My ovaries were hopping as well -- 4 big follies on the left, and 10 on the right. The biggest ones are at about 17. I've got another u/s tomorrow, and our pre-op appointment for the retrieval (which I can only imagine involves signing a bunch of scary forms).
I'm really starting to feel it today -- really bloaty and sore. I did a stupid thing yesterday and went to the gym. I've pretty much been feeling like ass since then.
Lesson learned -- I am spending the rest of today horizontal with Nate, David and Claire.
I'm really starting to feel it today -- really bloaty and sore. I did a stupid thing yesterday and went to the gym. I've pretty much been feeling like ass since then.
Lesson learned -- I am spending the rest of today horizontal with Nate, David and Claire.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Day 6 Update
Major hijinks at this morning's wand-o-rama. To start with, the tech couldn't find my ovaries OR my uterus, so had to call in reinforcements. Then they found my uterus, but it had taken so long that my bladder had filled up again, so they had me run across the hall to pee with a paper gown wrapped around my waist. Then I got double-teamed with one tech wanding me, and the other pushing down on my abdomen (I don't need to tell anyone who's been through this process how good THAT feels) to see if we could move things around a bit and see some hot hot ovary action.
The good news: we could. And it looks like we've got 3 on the left and 5-7 on the right. I'll know more once they call with the bloodwork, but at least we didn't get cancelled this morning.
Oh, and the tech told me that I can expect some cramping today, since they were so, um, thorough in their examination. Awesome! Thank God for Tylenol.
UPDATE: E2 level is 723. Dr. thinks there are probably more follies we can't see because of my uniquely placed parts. Retrieval could be Thursday or Friday.
The good news: we could. And it looks like we've got 3 on the left and 5-7 on the right. I'll know more once they call with the bloodwork, but at least we didn't get cancelled this morning.
Oh, and the tech told me that I can expect some cramping today, since they were so, um, thorough in their examination. Awesome! Thank God for Tylenol.
UPDATE: E2 level is 723. Dr. thinks there are probably more follies we can't see because of my uniquely placed parts. Retrieval could be Thursday or Friday.
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