8dp5dt -- 2WW, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out

I seem to have rounded the corner on the bitchiness, and am feeling almost serene today. I'm pretty much convinced I'm not pregnant, and that the PIO shots are just barely staving off a raging period. I'm certainly not going to be happy if tomorrow's results back up my suspicion, but I'm prepared to move forward with next steps. We knew going in that it was going to be a coin toss at best.

So, as the time drrraaaagggs by, I'm trying to focus on the things that are making me smile today:

1) The big, lopsided circles on my butt where the Mr. had to re-tattoo me with a Sharpie for my PIO shots.

2) The furry little purry kitty head that was on my pillow this morning when I woke up. (Not making me smile as much -- the furry little piece of kitty hair that it took me 20 minutes to get out of my eye.)

3) The fact that it only took me 5 minutes to get through the Bay Bridge Toll Plaza this morning on the way to work.

4) The fact that the Mr. will have dinner waiting for me when I get home tonight.

5) The big bowl of pho I just ate. (Yes, it's all about food with me right now.)

6) The fact that in 24 or so hours, I will either be celebrating or drinking very good red wine out of a VERY LARGE glass.

6dp5dt -- Evil, evil progesterone

I am in need of some serious sedation. I spent most of last night tossing and turning and running to the bathroom every hour or so, convinced that I had gotten my period. I had 4 dreams about telling the doctor I'd gotten my period, telling my mother I'd gotten my period, having my period stop and telling everyone about that, and meeting Carrie Underwood. Carrie and I did not talk about my period.

I somehow managed to stop myself from peeing on a stick, because 1) every time I pee on stick, I get my period immediately afterwards, and 2) the Mr. is seriously opposed to testing because he thinks it will make my mental state even worse. I'M NOT SURE HOW THAT IS POSSIBLE.

So, this morning I consulted Dr. Google and Dr. Infertility Blogosphere and learned that progesterone can provide that magical combination of both period AND pregnancy symptoms. So the fact that I am bloated, constipated, crampy, sweaty, cranky and crazy could really mean anything.

And isn't that comforting?

3dp5dt -- Waiting sucks

I wish I had something pithy and wonderful to say today, but I am currently paralyzed by the not-quite-two-week wait. My mind may wander to inconsequential things like, oh, work, for about five minutes, and then I'm right back into "am I or aren't I?" mode.

I know it's way too early for any meaningful symptoms (not to mention the lovely progesterone cocktail* running through my veins), but I am tired as hell despite sleeping like a log every night (very unusual for insomniac me) and have been feeling like hurling on and off for the last two days. And this morning's odd development is that I brewed myself up a tasty cup of decaf, and then was so totally turned off by the smell that I couldn't drink it.

I know this is probably all in my head, but since I'm pretty much living in my head these days it all seems like a very big deal.

Help!

*By the way, did I mention that I could really use a cocktail?!?!?