Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Scary night

Thanks for all of the kind words and encouragement yesterday. They meant so much.

Last night was not a fun one. At about 8:30, I started bleeding. Not brown spotting -- the bright red stuff. We'd been warned at our u/s that this could happen, but still -- it was scary and waaay too period-like for my liking. I called the RE on call, and he (someone I'd never spoken to before, who I have to say I don't much like) basically said that there's nothing they can do, it's probably normal, sometimes having an ultrasound shakes things up, keep my feet up and call in the morning. It sounded like I was interrupting him during a three-martini dinner. Sorry, bud -- not like it's my idea of fun to call you crying at 8:30 at night!

Anyway. The bleeding tapered off after about an hour. I slept for a bit, then woke up to some more bleeding at 1:30. That also tapered off after an hour or so, and now things have pretty much stopped, with the exception of a bit of brown spotting now and again.

I talked to the doctor again this morning (a different one, thank Gawd), and she was very encouraging. She thinks that B's sac collapsed, and probably took a blood vessel with it. She wants me to hang out with my feet up, and call back if the red bleeding starts again. She's hesitant to do another u/s, because she doesn't want to further irritate the uterus, but assured me that all of this sounds completely normal "given my situation." (BTW, I love all of the euphemisms -- it's like everyone's so afraid of the M word. I mean, it's pretty clear what's going on here, you know?)

I'm hanging there -- just trying to keep a somewhat positive attitude -- but it's hard. I so want a peek inside to check on A, but I'm also scared shitless (pardon my French) about what I might see. My mom will be here in a bit -- we're going to hang today and watch American Idol later -- so hopefully that will take my mind off things for a bit.

Because sometimes you just need your mommy.

14 comments:

babyinterrupted said...

I would be scared shitless too. All the reassurance in the world can't always take away the worry - sending you lots of hopes that everything will be just fine, and that this stress passes QUICKLY.

Dena said...

Very scary. Glad you have your mom to hang out with today...yes, sometimes you just need your mom!

SS said...

Oh wow, what a rough time. Having the sadness of the loss yesterday and then the scariness of a possible miscarriage this evening. Glad the doctor's feel it is somewhat predictable result given yesterday's u/s, but I know that wouldn't make me feel that much better if I were in your shoes. Infertility and first trimester combined don't let you be rational. Thinking of you and sedning good thoughts your way-

Carrie said...

How SCARY! I am so sorry that you had to go through that last night. I am glad the doctor was confident that it was B's sac, and that A is hanging on in there. I am glad your mommy is coming. Whenever anything happens (good or bad) I always have to see my mommy for it to be real.

I am thinking of you as ever, and holding you in my thoughts. I hope the bleeding stays away and you feel some peace.

Hugs (HUGE HUGS!)
Carrie

My Endo Journey said...

Enjoy your mom time!!! Yes, we need our moms sometimes for sure! Take it easy! Hugs your way!

Flower said...

Mommy...will make it all better...rest up.

Lou said...

I'm sorry - that sucks! I hope you're doing okay and feeling a bit better. I'm glad you had the ultrasound and had a little heads up that it may happen. But, it still sucks. Take care of yourself!

Gabby said...

yes, sometimes you need your mommy.. and right now Baby A needs you!

i'm so sorry for your loss -- and the horrible way your RE reacted to your concern. check my post form this morning - I called my RE at 3:30 in the morning! Don't feel bad.

Hang in there.. So glad your mom is coming to hang with you.

And AI is going to be a good one tonight. who is your fave?

Emily said...

Glad you are getting some quality time with you mom.
Darn the bleeding. I hate it and I wish we never had to go through it. I hope this is the END of it for you!

Mo and Will said...

Oh wow. Just catching up. Of course you're freaked out. hope you're able to find some good distractions and that the bleeding stays gone for good. you are in my thoughts.

Mo

A said...

I would be freakin out too! Man, that is so hard even though you know what it is. Glad you are getting some rest though and your mommmy will be able to be with you. You are so right! Sometimes us girls just need our mommy! Praying for you and baby A!

'Murgdan' said...

Oh how terrifying. Thinking of you...hopefully you'll have some good answers soon.

My Reality said...

I hope your time with your mom is just the distraction you need.

Hoping for no more bleeding.

Missy said...

I would be scared too. I'm so sorry you have to go through this and hope you have some great quality time with your mom.