A small personal milestone

Or, more accurately milestoneS.

I can finally, FINALLY fit the girls back into my pre-pregnancy bras. Which are, to be fair, still size 34 effing DD, but at least they are not the 38Gs I was dealing with during the Dark Days of Breastfeeding. I could wear those things on my head.

On a somewhat-related note, I am also currently wearing a pair of size 8 jeans, a feat which I haven't accomplished since well into the last presidential administration.

I'm actually feeling a little bit -- juuuuuust a little bit -- hot. Like I could flirt with the cute guy in the coffee place downstairs and he wouldn't gag.

I'm sure it won't last, but for today, I'll take it.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Botching the dismount

A couple of months ago, I had a couple of mama friends over. We were all contemplating stopping the whole breastfeeding/pumping thing, and one of them commented: "I'm so used to eating whatever I want and chalking it up to breastfeeding. I hope I don't botch the dismount and gain a bunch of weight."

Well, folks, I have officially Botched The Dismount. I haven't exactly gained a bunch of weight , but I haven't lost any more either. I am stalled. Stuck. Stuck in a delicious jungle of carbs and red wine. I'm about 10 pounds lighter than when I got pregnant, but still about 10-15 pounds heavier than I was pre-IF. (And about 25 pounds up from my wedding, but hey, I'm not in my twenties anymore and that's OK.)

So, I am recommitting. Reattempting the dismount. Trying to break through the plateau. Insert metaphor here.

My goal: the elusive Size 8 pants. I've got my former favorite pair of charcoal grey flannel slacks (did I just use the word slacks? I really am a mom) hanging from the bedroom door. I want to get into them by Thanksgiving. I do not want my thighs to look like a pair of bratwursts.

This is my goal. I have thrown it out there to the world. Please hold me accountable.

Or just hold me. I miss carbs.

Bring on the smelly pee!

Thanks for all of the kind comments on yesterday's post.....I'm feeling much better today. Except sometime between last night and this morning, I lost my voice. When I went in to get the Chicklette this morning and croaked "Good morning!," she looked at me, like, who is this prepubescent boy and what did you do to the lady with the boobs?!?

Anyway, so today's post, if the title didn't clue you in, is about asparagus. Asparagus soup, to be exact. It's one of the tasty concoctions I've been living on lately as part of my fabulous foray into Weight Watchers land.

I can't say enough good things about WW. It's the perfect plan for me -- she who likes wine and carbs and appreciates being able to eat whatever I want (although not necessarily in the quantities that I want, of course). I've lost something like 45 pounds since I had the baby -- about 20 of these on Weight Watchers. I'm now down to my pre-IVF weight, and have another 25 or so to go to get me back to where I was when I started my two year infertility self-pity binge.

Anyhoo, the soup. I make a lot of soup, and experimented with this one last weekend. I thought I'd post the recipe since it's asparagus season and it's ridonkulously easy to make. And of course there's the added smelly pee bonus.

Happy weekend!

Springtime Asparagus Soup

2 big bunches asparagus (or two bags of frozen from Trader Joe's)
6 cups chicken or veg broth
1 TBSP butter
1 large onion
1/4 cup fat free half-and-half (or fat free sour cream, if that's more your thing)
salt and pepper to taste

Chop onion and asparagus into manageable chunks (you'll be pureeing later, so no need to be too fussy). Melt butter in a large pot over medium-high heat, and add onion. Saute for 2-3 minutes, then add asparagus and broth. Bring to a boil, then lower to a simmer for 20-25 minutes or until asparagus is very tender. Puree soup with a hand blender* (or in a blender in batches), add half-and-half, and salt and pepper to taste.

This soup is awesome with a sprinkling of croutons and parmesan cheese on top, and keeps in the fridge for a few days. I didn't try to freeze it, but I'm sure it would be just fine. I'm planning to try this recipe with a bunch of other veggies in the coming weeks.

* One annoying thing about this soup is that the strands from the asparagus can get wound around your blender blade. Be prepared for a few extra minutes of asparagus extraction during the otherwise very low-maintenance cleanup.

The time has come

Well, I finally succumbed to the waves of junk mail hitting my various mailboxes and went to a Weight Watchers meeting today.

My weight has definitely plateaued over the last couple of weeks, and I think I've reached the limit of where childbirth and breastfeeding can take me. Also, I'm already starting to fall into some bad habits -- drive-thru lunches and quick but carby dinners -- that I'm starting to blame on "the baby." If I don't stop now, I'll probably find some way to extend my visit to Fatland until I get pregnant again (assuming, of course, that I can).

My main motivation at this point? It's so shallow I'm almost embarrassed to admit it. I confirmed yesterday that I'll be heading back to work in six weeks, and I really want to go back and have people think "Wow, she looks great!" I know it's probably ambitious, but I'd like to have lost another 15 pounds by then. I think I can do it.

So, I'll update here periodically on my progress. Not because I expect it will be all that thrilling to read, but because it will help keep me honest and motivated.

Oh, and the best part of today's meeting? The Chicklette blew a serious load in her diaper about midway through, complete with pre-show grunts and post-show farts. Heads were turned.

I've never been so proud!

Are they trying to tell me something?

On a somewhat random note, I find it amusing that the spam in my Yahoo account has morphed from "Last Chance -- 50% off Maternity styles at Old Navy!" to "Join Weight Watchers with no activation fee!"

Are they trying to tell me something? Like maybe it's time to start thinking about switching back from my maternity jeans to something with a waistband?

For the record, the weight is coming off -- almost 25 pounds so far (only 20 or so to go to get back to my pre-IVF weight -- yikes). But the thought of fitting in a Weight Watchers meeting or summoning up the mental energy to count points is pretty hilarious.

I guess my "pull something random out of the freezer and wash it down with a Chips Ahoy cookie" diet will have to do for now....

Quick 15 week update

Just got back from my OB appointment, and all is well. I had my first Doppler (147 bpm) and first belly measurement (11 cm). 

I also got a somewhat stern admonition from the doctor that I've gained about twice as much as I should have at this point, so no more gelato for me. Luckily, I'm generally feeling better, so dialing back the carbs and dialing up the exercise should be, if not easy, easier than it would have been a few weeks ago.

And now, off to LA! Will the business trips ever end????

Dear Creepy (Male) Coworker:

Please stop staring at my stomach when you are talking to me. Yes, it is protruding a bit. Yes, I have been wearing flowy tops and dresses lately. And yes, my boobs need their own office. I'm on my way down the hall to talk to the office manager about that right now.

But have I stared at YOUR stomach, which has been steadily growing over the side of your pants for the last year? OK, maybe a little, but only in meetings with lots of other people where I know you won't notice.

Be patient. Hopefully, I'll be out of the closet soon enough. In the meantime, please feel free to assume that I've had a few too many hits from the vending machine.

Expandingly yours,
Barefoot

p.s. Thanks to all of you for the kind wishes re: the spotting. My ute has calmed down, and seems to realize that today is Hump Day and Friday is just around the corner.

Wii got busted

Well, actually, I got busted. By my Wii Fit.

We got a Wii Fit for Christmas, and for many a week I dutifully logged in every day, tracking my weight, logging my workouts, and doing some yoga. I loved it, and spent months trying to get the Mr. to get on board. Finally, just as I was starting my IVF needle habit, he started to use it for his weekly weigh-in. (Don't even get me started on how he's been able to work out an extra day or two a week and drop 10 pounds. NOT FAIR.)

Last week, I was in the shower while he was weighing in. I hear him running down the hall and into the bathroom, shouting "BUUUUUSSSSTED!!!"

Apparently my darling little Wii Fit ratted me out. "Have you seen Barefoot? She hasn't logged in for 45 days!" And then: "Maybe you should keep a closer eye on her, so that she can reach her weight loss goals!"

My goals right now? To not bust out of my pants before the end of the first trimester. Extra points if I can avoid a new bra purchase for another month.

And maybe to unhook the Wii Fit. We'll see how sassy he is when he's unplugged.

What to wear when you look like you're pregnant but you're actually not

As anyone who has ever ingested infertility meds can tell you, that shit can wreak some serious havoc on your girlish figure. Mine wasn't exactly girlish to begin with, as I emotionally ate my way through the first two years of our infertility, but the last five months of Clo.mid and stims have certainly not helped the situation.

Not that this came as any surprise. The swelling and bloat potential of infertility treatment have been well-documented. As has the sweet, sweet irony of appearing knocked up when NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. So I went into the stims phase of IVF prepared.

Prepared to SHOP.

In case my shopping adventures can be of any help to those on the brink or in the midst of bloat-dom, I hereby present my five favorite (and mostly newly acquired) articles of clothing for the Pregnant-Looking Woman Who Isn't Pregnant (PLWWIP).

#5 -- The Flowy Dress

It's a good thing that the last week has been sunny and warm in Northern California, because I have worn these two dresses all week. The beauty of them (other than the obvious coverage capabilities) is that they can be mixed and matched almost infinitely. My boss, a major clotheshorse, even complimented me on my outfits this week.

Bonus on the J.Crew dress -- it's convertible and can be a dress or skirt or shirt or really anything you want it to be (except a baby).

#4 -- Scarf, Scarf Baby

Scarves -- they're not just for Hollywood waifs! They are also for us PLWWIPs. What else can cover both enlarged ta-tas and engorged abdomen for under 20 bucks? My favorites have actually been from Target.


Is there anything Target can't do, particularly if you avoid the baby department?

#3 -- The New Cardigan

What do you call these newfangled garments, that are part-cardigan, part-shrug? I don't know. I call them the New Cardigan, and I love them dearly. They work particularly well with a scarf, particularly if your arms aren't making you happy (as mine certainly are not). My two favorites came from a Banana Republic outlet, but they're everywhere. The best ones for our purposes have sort of a widening cowl that drapes inwards at the stomach -- I can't for the life of me find a picture that depicts this, but if you want to come over and take a tour of my closet I'd be happy to show you.

#2 -- The Mom Jeans

OK, I'm a little embarrassed about this. And I SWEAR I'm not wearing these because I really really really want to be a mom (although I do). I was at Ross (Dress for Less!) a couple of weeks ago and found these beauts -- jeans with a magic hidden panel that sucks in both your tum-tum and the dreaded muffin top. And you can't even tell they're mom jeans when you're fully outfitted -- although you might not ever be able to escape the shame.

#1 -- The Yummie Tummie

I know I've sung its praises before, but I really can't gush over this contraption enough. I've got both the tank and boyfriend tank in the long version, and I just feel like the hottest infertile on the block when I'm wearing them. They are expensive ($62 for the basic model), but I'm not even a little bit sorry I bought them.

Of course, I haven't gotten my credit card bill yet.

So, there's my list. I'm sure there are many, many other fantastic clothes for us PLWWIPs. Please share if you've discovered any!

In praise of the Yummie Tummie

I hope no one minds a brief detour into product shilling. (Obviously, with my 8 blog posts, me and my big bad internet presence are not getting compensated for this.) But I just have to say that I am in love. In love with the fact that my love handles (or, if you prefer, muffin tops) are gone. And those were some big muffins.

I am speaking of the Yummie Tummie. Specifically, the long black tank. Yes, it was expensive, but I set aside a few bucks before the beginning of this process to buy a few grapefruit-ovary-disguising items. I am wearing it right now with a sweater I haven't been able to wear in months, because it was a little too tight and I was a little embarassed by the visible bulge on my backside. I have been feeling so bloated and chunky and blah since starting the infertility diagnostic process (part of this I blame on Clomid, but most of it I blame on emotional eating), and while I'm not saying I look 20 pounds lighter or anything, I do feel kinda hot.

Maybe it's the Lu.pron. But I think I might order another color today.....