Waxing not-so-nostalgic

There are many traits I would love for my daughter to inherit from her parents. Athletic ability, musicality, acne-free skin and math smarts are all on the list. However, if there is one thing I hope she is spared, it's this:

My eyebrows.

My thick, unruly, "Oh, you waxed me? Let me sprout back forth in record time!" eyebrows.

I went to get an eyebrow wax today, and while I was having hot wax slathered and then ripped off my face, I reflected back on my long and illustrious eyebrow-waxing history. Some fun facts:

--I've been regularly waxing my brows since high school. If you figure I've averaged a wax a month since then (more frequently these days, less so in college when my very limited disposable income was more likely to go towards beer and *gasp* fake tanning), that's 192 delightful dates on the waxing table. So, I've probably spent somewhere around $3K getting hair ripped off my face.

--I play a little game of over/under each time I go in. How long will it take the waxer to say "My, what thick eyebrows you have!" or some variation thereof? It's not a question of if. It always happens. My favorite variation: "Your eyebrows are like tree trunks!" No shit!

--It is a big, giant, liar-liar-pants-on-fire myth that waxing hurts less the more you do it. If anything, it hurts MORE. Particularly when a cocktail of IVF drugs is running through your veins. (Hey, I may be infertile, but I wasn't about to add the indignity of a unibrow to my list of woes.)

I know, I know, I should be happy that I'll never have to use an eyebrow pencil to draw brows on. And the thick eyebrows come with nice things like thick hair (which, unfortunately, grows EVERYWHERE and creates a variety of other grooming dilemmas). But I hope that 16 years from now, I'm not giving my daughter the old "Oh, honey, it won't hurt at all after the first time" line. At least not about waxing!

The upside of the day is that I did get myself a fine pedicure, the results of which can be seen at right. So it wasn't all bad.

Now excuse me while I go put a bag of frozen peas on my throbbing forehead.

Graduation day

Yesterday we made the big leap from RE to OB. It was....different.

First of all, everything's great with the baby. Measuring 10w1d, heartbeat still strong, and (s)he is starting to actually look like something that might someday resemble an actual baby.

But the appointment was WEIRD. I've been going to my OB/GYN for years now -- she's not exactly a warm and fuzzy person, but she's thorough. Which is really all I care about at this point. But her office looks like something out of the Golden Girls -- pink walls, flowered couches, fake flower arrangements, quilts hanging on the wall, etc. And pregnancy magazines EVERYWHERE. I flipped through one while we were waiting, but I totally felt like an imposter.

Then I went in to check my vitals. Frighteningly, I've gained 13 POUNDS since we started our IVF cycle. I think most of this came on before the pregnancy happened, but I have got to slow things the heck down. The nurse asked me if my husband was the baby's father, to which I replied "Yes, unless the clinic really had an off day." I got a chuckle. I always like to see if I can get these folks to crack a smile.

Then came the consult with the OB. Her first comment: "You've worked really hard for this pregnancy." Um, yes. Yes we have. She handed us a big gift bag marked "BABY!" and filled with all kinds of crap. We went through all of the crap. Because, you know, in 7 months I'm going to start needing to worry about a pediatrician. I got a big lecture about exercise (yes, I know I'm already fat, but you try spotting after every time you work out and SEE HOW EXCITED YOU ARE ABOUT IT).

Then, onto the show. I didn't realize we were going to be doing a full pelvic exam, and didn't really think much of it until HOLY SPECULUM DO YOU REALIZE I HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN THREE MONTHS?!?! Followed by the doctor "checking my pelvis," which apparently means sticking her entire forearm up my cha cha and rooting around for the placement of my pelvic bones. Then, finally, came the ultrasound. Which went pretty much as expected, except for I now have a new appreciation for just how fancy the RE equipment is. And we only got ONE stinking picture.

Although it is pretty cute.

So, I don't know. I guess I'm supposed to be a "normal pregnant person" now, but I'm just not feelin' it. Anyway, next step is an appointment with the perinatologist for my NT screening, which will be something new and exciting to worry about. That will hopefully be late next week or the week after.

And then we come out to the family.....