Friday, October 8, 2010

7 years

Seven years ago this weekend, I married the best man I have ever met.

This week, that same man and I sat down for our first marriage counseling session.

It's almost a cliche....the seven year itch and all of that. But some combination of infertility, job dissatisfaction, anxiety, clinical depression, suspicions of infidelity and new parenthood have landed us on the couch.

I just read that last sentence back and thought "Wow, your marriage is really effed up!" But honestly, I don't have any doubt that we'll work through our issues. I'm strangely optimistic, and relieved that we're facing our problems head-on in the same way that I felt relieved when we finally figured out why we weren't able to get pregnant and how we might be able to deal with it.

So in a couple of days, we'll celebrate our anniversary. A little bruised and battered (not literally -- thank God THAT'S not one of our issues), but we'll celebrate nevertheless. And kiss our little girl a hundred times (if she'll let us).


Melissa G said...

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Marriage is hard under the best circumstances, throw in infertility, then a new born... Well it's a wonder that everyone isn't in counseling.

My husband and I spent about eight months of this last year in counseling, and it was the best thing we ever did. (We'll be married seven years next week) Even on the days when it seemed like NOT wanting a divorce was the only thing we had in common, I knew that we were doing the right thing by starting with counseling.

Best wishes with the counseling, I hope you're able to find a great therapist.


"Jay" said...

I'm sorry you guys are hitting a rough patch. I wouldn't call this "cliche". You are under a lot of stress and sometimes you need to step back and communicate.

I hope it goes well with counseling and your marriage is stronger than ever! Happy one said marriage wasn't work!!!

PS. Love the pic of chicklette sitting up:)

Kerri said...

Marriage is hard work, period. Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of it. Or delusional. Good for you for being pro-active and getting into counseling. Have a wonderful anniversary (with many more to come).

Laura Ryan Caden Will Kamryn said...

i have been following your blog for some time now. and this post just makes me have to comment. i know exactly what you are going through as my husband and i just celebrated our 7 year anniversary not too long ago. and just finished 6 months of counseling. and are dealing with infertility. and our twins being still born. and infidelity by his brother whose wife was pregnant at the time.

you will make it through and are taking the steps to show you want to make it work.

i will keep you both in my prayers. i hope you have a great anniversary celebration and look forward to many more years to come!

Anonymous said...

Hubby and I went to counseling our 2nd to 3rd year. It was the best thing we ever did. I don't think I ever would've been ready to TTC if we hadn't been solid first. I'm proud that we went and came out stronger. Be proud of yourselves, too.