Saturday, June 6, 2009

Yep, still infertile

Every once in a while, some little thing happens that reminds me that even though I'm supposed to be a happy normal pregnant person, I'm still an infertile and will always see some pieces of life through that lens.

Last night, I went to a friend's house for dinner and a movie (pizza and ice cream and a movie -- it was like a 2nd grade slumber party without the sleeping-over part). She rented Bride Wars, which we thought would be a nice piece of fluff. She's got a toddler and a newborn, and I'm, well, pretty much useless after 2 p.m., so we figured it would be perfect.

And for the most part, it was. But for those of you who have seen the movie (or for those who don't mind getting spoiled), there was a scene at the end that de-fluffified things for me. The whole movie is about these two best friends who become frenemies after accidentally booking the same wedding date at the same venue. At the end of the movie, after they've miraculously made up after doing all sorts of horrible things to each other, they meet up and discover that they're both (barely) pregnant, and due on the same day!!! OMG how wonderful!!! And one of them has just come from her honeymoon!!! Squeeeee!!

I realize that Bride Wars was not meant to be a commentary on any kind of realistic marriage and/or childbearing situation, but it just annoyed me. Let's go ahead and perpetuate the misconception (pun intended) that it's easy-peasy to get knocked up on your honeymoon, or anytime you feel like it.

I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer -- for a lot of people it is that easy, and I'm not saying that every movie conception story should feature infertility -- but it would be nice if we saw a little more struggle and a little less instantaneous (or accidental) pregnancy storyline. Maybe then it wouldn't come as so much of a shock to those of us who are destined to struggle.

But that probably wouldn't make for a very exciting movie, would it?

14 comments:

Grade A said...

The fertiles are everywhere. This is am issue I am struggling with as well: being sans baby for so long and now pregnant. I agree with you completely. p.s.-congratulations on 12 weeks!

Carrie said...

Oh that is SO realistic, right? I still get irked at that, and then always wonder how the characters who get knocked up so easily do not EVER worry about miscarriage, or actually go through a terrible pregnancy loss. Okay, some do, but not enough. Yay Hollywood.

Glad you had a fun sleepover though! Hugs!

Carrie

IF Optimist, then... said...

Pizza + ice cream + movie night = FABOOOLUSH

Bad Hollywood chick films = CRAPTASTIC.

Check out this movie called "Once"(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0907657/). I had my girlie Linds over for it and we lurved it. Excellent music, great heart-lifting story.

Melissa G said...

I agree, fabulous menu!

As for the movie, I was appalled too. I went to see it with a friend of mine, I had been diagnosed the month before with Sever MFI, and she had sadly just had a miscarriage. We looked at each other, got up and walked out. Granted it was the end of the movie anyway. But we were seriously annoyed.

I get what your are saying though, its not a seriously plot, nor is it super implausible. I hate to say it but I think this is just a hypersensitive IF thing...

Congratulations on your 12th week!

Michele said...

honestly, i dont think it matters that we get pregnant, deep down we are still infertile and that paints how we view the world. it still hurts me to see people "accidentally" get pregnant when we have to go through hell and high water not just to get pregnant but to stay that way.

Melissa said...

I felt the same way after seeing the movie. I did not like the movie because of the end, I will never watch it again. I know exactly what you were feeling. Have a great day!

Melissa

hope4joy said...

I had seen this movie in the theater prior to my IF diagnosis and it annoyed me then so I can't imagine watching it now. Congrats on your 12 weeks!

Hope said...

Crazy...I watched this on Friday night and was enjoying it so much...until the last scene. Lets just say I burst into tears and went to bed! Ughh!

Lilah said...

I know, that was so annoying...today we went to see the Disney movie UP thinking it would be a fun and light movie. The movie starts with a short film of storks delivering babies from the clouds...and in the movie there is a scene where the wife finds out they can't have kids...and the in the next scene she is sitting kind of depressed outside staring off in space...I started to cry...I guess Disney movies aren't safe either.

Emily said...

Sounds perfect - except for the ending. It left DH and I groaning as well...must be nice is all I can say.

Jo said...

I, too, was irked at the ending of this movie. I mean, COME ON. The exact same due date? Puhlease.

Hugs,
Jo

iamstacey said...

Check out "Up" - for a kids' movie, it has a sad part about infertility, but is overall upbeat.

SS said...

The movie that annoyed me the most was Sex and the City- where Charlotte gets pregnant and tells Carrie- my doctor says it happens all the time when couples adopt. Uggghhh! That made my blood boil.

Kristen's Raw said...

HA! Right on!

Or how about people in general... Someone emailed me after knowing I was actually miscarrying that day. She said she miscarried before, but just found out she was pregnant....and.... drumroll please.... they weren't even "trying." God help me... I think she was "trying" to be nice and encouraging, but please - telling me that you're easily pregnant the day I'm miscarrying? Geesh.