Monday, May 3, 2010

No longer ding-free

You know that blissful-yet-nervewracking period after you get a new car, when you haven't accidentally plowed a shopping cart into it yet, or had a neighbor bonk you with their door, or had to parallel park yet? That no-ding period?

Well, it's over in the Barefood household. Except not with the car. With the BABY. And instead of a shopping cart, the Chicklette was dinged by two completely incompetent parents.

You could see it coming a mile away. Fingernails needed to be clipped. I was in a rush to hop in the shower, so handed of the clippers to the fingernail-clipping-virgin husband. As I was toweling off, I hear baby screams, followed by "I'm SO sorry, I'm SO sorry" and "Honey, we need a band-aid in here!"

Of course, I didn't have a baby-sized bandaid, so had to McGyver an adult-sized one to fit her little bleeding, quivering finger. And oh, the sadness. And the blood. There was a lot of blood. But still ten fingers. Phew.

So. We bandaged her up, and headed out for the day. Because I am a fate-tempting idiot, I proceeded to pepper the Mr. with jeers throughout the course of the afternoon. Because he didn't feel bad enough, and I can't ever let go of an opportunity to lord my parenting prowess over him. I'm lucky the foreshadowing didn't knock me out with a blow to the head.

Because later, I was all like, "Hey, let's finish cutting those nails!" And the baby was all like, "Hey, I need a matching wound for my other hand!"

That's right, folks. ANOTHER fingernail boo-boo. More screams. More blood. (Still 10 fingers.)

So, yeah. Not exactly an A+ weekend for parenting around these parts. And I think I've learned my lesson about the lording of parenting prowess.

At least for today.

11 comments:

Claire said...

LOL!

Sorry not much of a comment but your post was written in a very witty way and that was my main response.

Kerri said...

Hahaha! I totally chopped a huge chunk of Camden's skin off the first time I cut his nails. And then I developed a serious fear of nail cutting & had my sister do it for me for a few weeks. When I started cutting them myself again, I felt like a pro because we successfully made it through all of the trimmings with no tears. Then I noticed one time that he was bleeding a bit & I had nipped him again. Still no tears. I'm not a pro after all-- he just learned to toughen up when I have nail clippers in hand!

Valerie said...

I think it is a rite of passage for all parents - It happened to me too. Try biting them off. You'd be surprised how easy it is to do instead of the clippers. I usually do it when I'm feeding them. Don't feel bad, I think it happens all the time

ana said...

Oh, we get a finger every time we cut his nails. I would love to do Valerie's biting trick my husband thinks its gross. So I let him cut the nails with the clipper :)

Donna said...

I can't stand the thought of clipping Eli's nails. I am much to fearful of something similar happening. My poor husband has to do it every time. We've only had one finger clip so far.

wowomom said...

We always used files on our girls when they were babies. Their little nails are so soft that the baby emrey boards to the trick just fine. There's no risk for cutting and you can't go 'to close' which I think is almost as bad. :)

~Emma

Mush said...

I have done that a few times and its awful! The bleeding goes on forever and the crying even longer! I felt soooo guilty every time and now I bite them instead which is a lot easier when they are small. x

kdactyl said...

Oh...I'm so sorry....it happens to all of us...but my husband has you trumped...at 11 days old...he lifted our son up to put him in the front pack...right into the whirling Ceiling Fan! Knocked the kid right in the head! Thank God it was on low and only minor...but it left a mark and my husband was a wreck! I tease him that he put the first dent in the baby...so anything I might do later in life really won't matter cuz I wasn't first..tee hee.

kd

Ben & Anne said...

Ahhh.... So glad you posted this - my husband did exactly the same thing yesterday, our little boy screamed and screamed (and he's not much if a crier so we both got quite panicky!). Their little hands are so tiny that it's hard to see how bad the cut is.... I was so scared we'd cut the top of his finger off ( which of course we hadn't!). We had to create a little plaster like you from the smallest grownup one in the pack. Broke my heart! He was fine the next day though....

Love your posts, they always make me smile!

thebarreness said...

There but for the grace... I think it was at least 5 months before I stopped holding my breath when cutting her nails! Although I use scissors, never trusted clippers. Hope your bubba's OK! (At least it gives her something to talk about in theraphy...)

EdgardoM said...

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