2 little blasties sitting in my ute; blobs of cells that are so cute!

OK, so I'm still feeling pretty happy from the Va.lium. Everything went smoothly this morning -- thanks so much for all the good thoughts!

In case anyone's curious about the play-by-play, here goes:

We got to the clinic super-early (8:15 for a 9:30 transfer) -- so early, in fact, that the doctor called me on my cell phone with an embryo update when I was sitting in the waiting room! She told us that we had two superstar blasts, and then another 2 or 3 that we will likely be able to freeze either later today or tomorrow. She recommended we transfer 2 -- I relayed that to the Mr. and then headed off to acupuncture to think on it for a bit.

Acupuncture was fun today -- I had a different acupuncturist who'd worked for the San Francisco 49ers for a while, so we chatted about that. I got needles in different places -- on top of my head for the first time, which she called an "implantation crown." I chilled with the needles for about 30 minutes, said a few prayers, and decided that my gut was telling me to go with 2.

I debated whether or not I needed a Va.lium after acupuncture, and decided that my bladder discomfort alone was probably reason enough, so down the hatch it went. I floated on back to the waiting room, sat and snuggled with the Mr. for a bit, and then we headed back to the transfer room.

The tech took a quick look at the sonogram, and told me that I could go pee for 5 seconds if I wanted to. No need to ask me twice! I shuffled out and did my thing, went back and got told that I could pee even more. Apparently my 58 or so ounces were doing what they were supposed to do.

Finally, we got down to business. The doctor (a new one) came in and went over a few more details, and gave us a picture of our beautiful blasts. One was huge (I'd post a picture if I wasn't flat on my back), and the other was not far behind. We made the final call to do both.

By this time, the Va.lium had kicked in and I was feeling like a million bucks. Never have my feet so easily gone into stirrups, and I swear the speculum was not at all unpleasant. A miracle. The doctor swabbed me out with some cold stuff, which totally tickled (I told you the Val.ium was good), and gave the catheter a quick test. What happened next was the coolest thing ever -- the embryologist came in, confirmed who we were, and left while the doctor put in the catheter for real. You could see the little tube going in on the ultrasound. The embryologist came back with the blasts, handed them to the doctor, and then we watched them wend their merry little way down the tube and pop out into my ute. So frickin' cool.

The Dr. said it went "perfectly," and they all left me to lie on the table for a few minutes. The Mr. and I totally had a moment -- I cried, I laughed, he teared up. It was one of the most special things we've experienced together.

I went back for another round of needles, and conked out with a big smile on my face.

So now we wait. And wait. Beta is next Thursday the 9th at 7:00 a.m. I hope there are enough movies at Blockbuster to get me through. I'm sure I'll be blogging all about them here.

Just trying to chill the hell out

T minus 24 hours until transfer, and I am fighting the urge to Google the heck out of "embryo transfer stories." I thought being back at work would help, but no such luck. It's funny, because the only thing I'm really dreading is the no peeing thing. Otherwise, between the acupuncture and the Val.ium I'm sure I'm going to be feeling juuuust fiiiiinnne.

In other news, the Mr. shot me in the butt with PIO when we were at our friends' house last night. It was pretty comical. I think I'm almost going to miss these exciting shooting up situations.

Day 3 Embryo Update

OK, so it was a little weird when the doctor called us at 8:30 this morning and we were lounging in bed watching a 90210 rerun on SoapNet. But he had good news, so I got over it.

All 7 of our embies are still cooking! We've got 4 8-cell Grade 1 embryos (our clinic grades on a 1 to 5 scale, with 1 being the best), 1 6-cell Grade 1, 1 5-cell Grade 2, and 1 4-cell Grade 2. We're headed for a Day 5 transfer on Tuesday, and hopefully (please please please!) will have a couple to freeze.

After we got the news, the Mr. and I went for a long walk around the reservoir and tried to figure out whether we want to put back 1 or 2 on Tuesday. I think it's probably going to have to be a game-time decision.

Crazy days.....but we both feel incredibly blessed.

The most unrelaxing acupuncture session EVER

Yesterday's acupuncture adventure was like something out of a sitcom. On a day when I really really needed to relax and stop thinking about our little babes in a petri dish, three things got in the way:

1. I farted on the reproductive massage guy. Thanks, constipating PIO shots and subsequent excessive fiber intake.

2. I started awake during the acupunk and lunged for my ringing phone (could it be the clinic?), shooting two needles out of my belly and across the room. It wasn't the clinic.

3. A marching band kept walking back and forth down the street under my session room window. Seriously. WTF?

Needless to say, it pained me a little more than usual to fork over my $255 at the end of the session.

What to wear when you look like you're pregnant but you're actually not

As anyone who has ever ingested infertility meds can tell you, that shit can wreak some serious havoc on your girlish figure. Mine wasn't exactly girlish to begin with, as I emotionally ate my way through the first two years of our infertility, but the last five months of Clo.mid and stims have certainly not helped the situation.

Not that this came as any surprise. The swelling and bloat potential of infertility treatment have been well-documented. As has the sweet, sweet irony of appearing knocked up when NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. So I went into the stims phase of IVF prepared.

Prepared to SHOP.

In case my shopping adventures can be of any help to those on the brink or in the midst of bloat-dom, I hereby present my five favorite (and mostly newly acquired) articles of clothing for the Pregnant-Looking Woman Who Isn't Pregnant (PLWWIP).

#5 -- The Flowy Dress

It's a good thing that the last week has been sunny and warm in Northern California, because I have worn these two dresses all week. The beauty of them (other than the obvious coverage capabilities) is that they can be mixed and matched almost infinitely. My boss, a major clotheshorse, even complimented me on my outfits this week.

Bonus on the J.Crew dress -- it's convertible and can be a dress or skirt or shirt or really anything you want it to be (except a baby).

#4 -- Scarf, Scarf Baby

Scarves -- they're not just for Hollywood waifs! They are also for us PLWWIPs. What else can cover both enlarged ta-tas and engorged abdomen for under 20 bucks? My favorites have actually been from Target.


Is there anything Target can't do, particularly if you avoid the baby department?

#3 -- The New Cardigan

What do you call these newfangled garments, that are part-cardigan, part-shrug? I don't know. I call them the New Cardigan, and I love them dearly. They work particularly well with a scarf, particularly if your arms aren't making you happy (as mine certainly are not). My two favorites came from a Banana Republic outlet, but they're everywhere. The best ones for our purposes have sort of a widening cowl that drapes inwards at the stomach -- I can't for the life of me find a picture that depicts this, but if you want to come over and take a tour of my closet I'd be happy to show you.

#2 -- The Mom Jeans

OK, I'm a little embarrassed about this. And I SWEAR I'm not wearing these because I really really really want to be a mom (although I do). I was at Ross (Dress for Less!) a couple of weeks ago and found these beauts -- jeans with a magic hidden panel that sucks in both your tum-tum and the dreaded muffin top. And you can't even tell they're mom jeans when you're fully outfitted -- although you might not ever be able to escape the shame.

#1 -- The Yummie Tummie

I know I've sung its praises before, but I really can't gush over this contraption enough. I've got both the tank and boyfriend tank in the long version, and I just feel like the hottest infertile on the block when I'm wearing them. They are expensive ($62 for the basic model), but I'm not even a little bit sorry I bought them.

Of course, I haven't gotten my credit card bill yet.

So, there's my list. I'm sure there are many, many other fantastic clothes for us PLWWIPs. Please share if you've discovered any!

Not-So-Fabulous Food Friday

I've been trying to think of something exciting and fabulous to write about today, but am coming up empty. I'm sick of protein, I can't eat my two favorite foods (parmesan cheese and bread) because I've given them up for Lent, and I've heard that the PIO shots can clog the plumbing. So, it's veggies galore for me today.

I know I probably shouldn't, but I think I'm going to treat myself to a nice glass of wine tonight (or, let's face it, this afternoon since I'm working from home today). Probably this.

I hope it goes well with broccoli.

Fertilization and Butt-Shot Report

In case anyone out there is quivering in fear (as I was yesterday) about the prospect of a progesterone in oil (PIO) shot, I am here to report that last night's butt-shot was not that bad. I think more than the actual needle, I was nervous about someone else giving me a shot -- I'd come to terms over the last few weeks with shooting myself up, and the one time I'd let the Mr. give it a try was kind of disastrous. But he really pulled (pushed?) through -- just a little pinch. I've heard that the real pain of PIO shots is the cumulative soreness, which I can't speak to yet, but at least I won't be approaching tonight's needle encounter with abject terror.

(On a side note, I am really constantly amazed at the medical things that I've previously feared and have more or less overcome. Vag.inal ultrasound? Check. IV? Check. Injections? Check. Blood draws? Check. It's not that I really love any of these activities, but I feel sort of proud of myself that they're no big deal in a physical sense anymore. IVF makes grizzled medical veterans of us all!)

On the fertilization front, we got great news this morning -- 7 of our 8 fertilized!! The doctor us very optimistic that we'll make it to day 5, but in my excitement I forgot to ask what the basis was for this determination. I think it's too early for them to be grading the embies, right?

We won't hear anything else until Sunday -- either a report and time for Tuesday, or (if things aren't looking so hot) a time for a day 3 transfer that day. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with myself until then -- I don't think I've had to wait this long for any results yet -- but am just trying to think good thoughts for our little potential babes. I don't generally think of myself as an overly emotional person (the Mr. may disagree, especially after these last few weeks), but I pretty much love them already.

And now, to bring things back to my usual sarcastic and superficial level, I'm off to pee for the 10th time this morning. Thanks, Gatorade.