Saturday, September 25, 2010

In which I rant about work

WARNING: Big, slightly self-pitying, enormously self-indulgent work rant ahead.

I just got back from a 3-night work trip. Which came on the heels of a two-night work trip. Which came on the heels of another 2-night work trip. To put it in perspective, three of the Avis car rental reps and 2 of the desk clerks at the Embassy Suites in a major metropolitan area now know me by name. And the manager at the Embassy Suites knows what kind of wine I like to drink (after an embarrassing late night incident involving a glass of cabernet knocked off a dresser onto the carpet and a subsequent room change and complimentary replacement glass blah blah blah).

Meanwhile, I feel lucky that my daughter recognized me (and actually smiled) when I walked through the door last night. I mean, she's going through a serious stranger danger phase right now and let's face it, I'm kind of a stranger lately.

I'm not complaining in the larger sense. I know what I got into when I got back to work, took a promotion, and basically returned to business as usual as if I never had a child. (And my husband can be available to be with the Chicklette when I'm not, so I know she's in good hands.) I PURPOSELY did this -- I didn't want the men in my male-dominated environment (law firm) to think that I had gone "soft." I've killed myself to seem like I'm on top of it all of the time. I never complain. I never mention the baby unless I'm asked about her. I've totally set myself up. This is all my fault.

BUT. Just once, it would be nice if someone -- ANYONE -- like, remembered that I had a baby 9 months ago. And maybe said "thanks" for kicking my own ass to get things done. And spending nights away from my family. And never complaining. Except here.

And yes, my fault.

My doing.

But still.

I miss my baby.

That is all.


"Jay" said...

:( It's tough being in a male dominated work environment! All of that travel is tough too, kid or no kid! I hope it gets better.

PS. love the halloween costume! You have to post a pic of her in it. Even if it is from behind :)

Donna said...

Sorry sorry about that... Being surrounded by men who don't need to make family arrangements can be really tough - and traveling so much is a major downer too. Not only is it hard to do - but I know how hard it is to be away from your little one.

You are an amazing, awesome and kick a** career girl. Feel free to look for sympathy here!!! You deserve it.

Ben & Anne said...

Urgh, sorry you're having to juggle so much and without any recognition. I admire you for your attitude and dedication to your career and your family. I come from an extremely male dominated profession with a real macho team.... I have forged the way in my team for part time working, I'll be going back in January for two days a week. I know I'll be knocked for my apparent lack of commitment but find I don't much care much to my surprise since having my son.

It's great to see women at the too of their game careerwise and excellent mothers too (which from reading your blog I am sue you are too!).

Amber said...

I am so sorry. I know I'm lucky to have a flexible job that doesn't require much travel or late nights and probably shouldn't complain. But, I do. Especially when we're in our slow time which we are right now. Hope you'll be able to have some nice time at home before you have to leave again.

Trying Again said...

It's ok to let of some steam from time to time :)

K said... proud of you and so sorry at the same time. I have not gone back to work yet, but I see the same look/feeling on my husband's face every morning when he goes. Sounds like you are juggling it all very well, even if it doesn't feel like it to you. Salute!