Baby steps

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I last posted. Well, I guess I can. The holidays and their attendant chaos have required some recovery time. And, to be honest, I've just been generally having a rough time. We're still working through some Marital Discord in the Barefoot household, and I've been having a bit of a pity party about it. Hopefully a temporary one -- because I'm losing serious patience with my sad sack self.

In happier news, the Chicklette is cuter than evah, and even took some first steps yesterday and today (both of which I missed, thank you business travel). I am relieved -- all of her little friends have been zooming around on two feet for quite some time, and I was starting to get a complex. We are full-on into table food, which has been messy and also a fun introduction to the many different textures of poop. And I'm pretty sure that the Chicklette has either a) developed her own language (baby genius!), or b) is being visited at night by aliens, because she is talking a mile a minute, very authoritatively, in a language that is very clearly not English.

So, life rolls along. Mostly good, some bad, but always interesting. And if anyone out there is still reading, happy new year!

Happy Birthday, Chicklette!

One year ago today, give or take an hour, I was grunting and pushing you into the world through a happy epidural haze. While the details are blurry, I will never forget the feeling of seeing you -- my little miracle -- and holding you against the OUTSIDE of my stomach for the first time.

These past few days, I've watched through misty eyes as you've eaten (well, smashed) your first birthday cake, ripped your first piece of wrapping paper, worn your first birthday hat, and taken your first step (even though I'm pretty sure it was an accident, and was really ONLY one step, followed by a wipeout).

I'm sure that your second year will be full of even greater adventures, but it's hard right now to imagine how it's going to top your first. Even with the challenges, it's been the best year of MY life. I love you with all the love that it's possible to love.

Happy Birthday!

What distraction looks like

Is this enough for you, Santa?

Today I went on a bit of a cookie-making binge. Nothing too fancy, but I was excited to try two new (to me) recipes -- this one for snickerdoodles, and this one for pfeffernusse.

Pfeffernusse is German for "good luck cleaning up that powdered sugar"

And now I'm getting ready to make lasagna for tomorrow's first-birthday extravaganza.

Operation Distraction is going quite well -- except for the fact that I can no longer fit into my pants. But that sounds like a 2011 kind of problem, no? I think so.

Off to do some quality control on those cookies!

Distracted

I just realized that the last time I posted was right before our marathon Thanksgiving trip, which seems like it happened about a hundred years ago. Not because it was bad -- actually, it went pretty well, if exhaustingly -- but because I have been in full holiday swing since we got back. Putting up the tree, putting up the lights outside the house, shopping, party planning, menu planning, wrapping, etc. etc. Just the normal holiday stuff, plus a little first birthday stuff thrown in. It's crazy.

And you know what? Thank GOD for that. Because there is a whole lot of stressful stuff to think about after January 1, and one of those things is Trying for Another Baby. First, there's the whole "We're in counseling, should we really be having another kid?" question, coupled with the "Eek! I'm turning 35 -- do we really have the luxury of talking about this for more than 5 minutes?" question. Oh, and the "Our house is small, can we fit another kid in without destroying everyone's sanity?" question. All questions any "normal" couple would have to consider in our circumstances.

But, of course, we're not reproductively "normal," so there's more! Will my insurance cover IF treatments after next year? Does an FET with only one frozen embie have any hope? What happens if the FET cycle doesn't work and we do a fresh cycle and get too many eggs for one cycle? Do we try for a third baby if we're lucky enough to have a second? Do we donate embryos? When do we stop if we're unsuccessful after multiple cycles?

And THEN, there's the fact that I feel so guilty because I'm lucky enough to have this amazing baby, and yet still manage to spend so much time dwelling on negative stuff.

With all this in mind, getting distracted by the holiday season seems like a FANTASTIC idea. So, here I am, drowning myself in shopping, baking, cooking, eating, decorating and dressing my child in all manner of ridiculous holiday outfits.

Who's with me?

Girding my loins

I love that scene in The Devil Wears Prada when Miranda Priestly arrives at the office unexpectedly early, and everyone panics, and Stanley Tucci's all like "Gird your loins!"

That's exactly what I'm doing right now. I am roughly 15 hours and 4 minutes (but who's counting?) away from boarding a cross-country flight with a rambunctious 11-month-old, three large bags, 2 smaller bags, a stroller, a car seat, and a husband who has recently given up drinking. Which is a good thing, because I HAVE NOT.

When we land, we will be taking those 5 bags, 2 large pieces of baby equipment, and 1 baby on some sort of shuttle/train/whatever to a rental car place, renting a car that better have 4 doors, and driving an hour plus in NY rush hour traffic to our first set of grandparents. I don't even have the energy to detail what comes after that, but suffice it to say the next few days involve traversing several states (yes, they're small states, but still), baby and gear in tow, to visit 2 sets of grandparents, 3-4 sets of friends, 1 sister, and God knows how many other random visitors while at each of these destinations.

To top it off, the majority of this time will be spent in the company of one particular family member (rhymes with Flicked Pepsmother) who has loved, from the time I was about 13 years old, to tell me how fat/unattractive/unkempt I look. Which means that any residual feelings of hotness mentioned in my previous post will be gone by about 8:30 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) tomorrow.

BUT. I am so excited to be starting the holiday season with my sassy little Chicklette. Despite all of the hurdles mentioned above, I'm really looking forward to a week of "vacation" with my immediate (i.e., nuclear) family. I'm sure there will be some fun parts to this trip, even if they are few and far between.

So, off we go. And if I don't have a chance to post during this next week, Happy Thanksgiving!!

A small personal milestone

Or, more accurately milestoneS.

I can finally, FINALLY fit the girls back into my pre-pregnancy bras. Which are, to be fair, still size 34 effing DD, but at least they are not the 38Gs I was dealing with during the Dark Days of Breastfeeding. I could wear those things on my head.

On a somewhat-related note, I am also currently wearing a pair of size 8 jeans, a feat which I haven't accomplished since well into the last presidential administration.

I'm actually feeling a little bit -- juuuuuust a little bit -- hot. Like I could flirt with the cute guy in the coffee place downstairs and he wouldn't gag.

I'm sure it won't last, but for today, I'll take it.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Traveling transcontinentally

That's what we're doing in about a week and a half. Eeek! I was scared before, and now that we have a Baby On The Move, I am terrified.

First, there's the packing. We're going from the SF Bay Area to the NY Tri-State Area, so there will be some weather adjustments. How cold will it be? Do we need to buy winter gear? Can the baby wear jeans to the country club (don't laugh!)? Will they have her favorite baby food flavors at the supermarket?

Then, there are the actual logistics of the trip. We're flying to NY, then driving to Maryland for a couple of days, and then driving back up, stopping to see some friends along the way. Are we crazy? YES!

And finally, there's the whole time change thing. Will we be going through all of this logistical hell with a sleep-deprived baby? Not to mention sleep-deprived parents? Oh, and the 137 unfamiliary friends and relatives? How will they fit in?

Stay tuned! It should be a festive start to the holiday season.